the answer

so, instead of constantly striving to better ourselves it is really really really important to be grateful... gratitude is so important... and every little thing, from the socks on your feet to the sleep dust in your eyes to the food in the fridge and roof on your house and car in the driveway and legs on your body.. etc etc etc is something to be happy about - and its more important to be sure that in the worst shittiest situation you are the best version of shitty you can be.. because as much as you try to control everything around you, external factors DO fuck things up and they can also work in your favor and you can also control how you feel but only in the now... not yesterday and not tomorrow - and it will come naturally maybe, but i could also believe it is now.. and it would be - just like that .. does that make sense?

if you're fat be FAT if you're thin be THIN if you're happy be HAPPY and if you're sad then well FUCK be fucking sad.. but try to feeeel everything the best it can be felt and move on.

and in the end you remember how you felt about yourself and your situation --

i cant say how i will feel tomorrow but i have the power to change it when i get there.